My Own Prison,Death by Paper Cuts and Philemon

My Own Prison

A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison

Creed's debut album "My Own Prison" made headlines somewhere in 1997 as a promising band and statistics aside they were one of the greatest bands around. There were alot of spiritual overtones generated from their lyrics which I could really relate with. Even at this time now, after the break up of the band I continue to listen to them (though I can't help thanking their break up for the birth of my fave band Alter Bridge). One song that's resonating now is "My Own Prison".

The lyrics of the song (if I still remember correctly) was written about their friend who had committed suicide.To me it talks about the realization that there is a point of escape but only on realizing the accusations are ours alone. The depiction of the person in the song is one that doesn't want to get up and take responsibility of their life and move on. A person that mirrors the past defining the future and never pulling him/herself through the ruckus. In a nutshell, to me, the song talks about taking responsibility.

I would like to convey what I'm going through literally but that would be revealing too much (I have taken much heat of writing too literally on my opinions and feelings in the past). I can only say that today marks the day when "my own prison" that was killing me by "paper cuts" is being challenged to the new possibility of "the reconciling love of God in Christ " (Philemon 1 and this post).