This is the dilemma that we face in church sometimes. How much of our disappointments can they handle. Worst still if you are a leader in that particular church. This is the whole hoax that people feel being a christian is. We call ourselves a community but deny that we can feel like crap and we tell each other to suck it up and just keep quiet about it. I really feel a bit annoyed at this attitude.
Just this once, i tell those in prayer meeting i felt lousy and of all the time i faked it from January until now, what do i get???? "You are not supposed to do that." Wow. That really kills my openness. That literally killed of any desire to open up in the future.
Come on, are leaders always to feel strong, know where they are going, know what to do? Sometimes when we wear the mask too much it really sucks. This generation now want authenticity. They want honesty. The dangerous sense of being community and not a performance Christianity.
So much for opening up. I just feel crappy now. No wonder no one went in to pray for me. I guess God is the one and only one who should lift me up. Honestly i wouldn't do that in the main service, i know better. But this is prayer meeting, with the usual people and they are those people who pray and want to pray for people. But this is some sort of lesson i learnt from church, a church that says to us "Fake it".
It is not that i hate church, but now i just feel church has lost the sense that it or she is a community as well, not just a religious institution that has to fight with organizations and culture to be relevant. I fell the church, any church should get back to the roots of community, of being the people of God that loves each other, that doesn't have to worry if their leader feels crappy. If their leader is down the members should be there to encourage him or her. Not tell them to "suck it up".
This is just an added extension of the post as a help for readers because i get misinterpreted at some points. For readers I am voicing out that we are people and we should be real people with real emotions and feelings. The post is to side with Leaders if you read again you will understand, or if you read slowly you will get it. I mean leaders are humans too and there is room for authenticity just like normal people. Just read the last part that i recently HIGHLIGHTED. Please read with an open mind and listen.
- OIL TOWN, SWK, Malaysia
- I'm a student of Theology (currently and will always be one). I'm a student of culture and a student of music as well. I guess you could say life is a never ending journey of learning. Because of that we never stop being students. Just a little something about this blog: Deconstructing The Monkey is all about being a safe space for emerging conversations